Confirmation Day

It’s Saturday. Feels like it took a long time to get to this Saturday. Now that it is here it feels like a confirmation. Confirmation that the Universe is indeed conspiring in my favor.

Approximately four seconds after hire I immediately left on a business trip for my new employer. Six hours alone on the road with the pleasure of my own company. Alone overnight in a hotel. Two lunches and dinner alone. An early morning run in a strange town, in the rain, all alone. Yoga in my non-smoking suite, also alone. During every moment of that solitude, fighting off a sore throat trying to bloom into something more. Good thing I was alone so I could focus my energy on robust health. Wholeness. Wellness. Self-healing with my own Medicine.

It worked. I’m stepping forward into my new role with a sense of Yes. I’m welcome. I’m already an important person. I already matter. Folks have expressed their relief to have found me. I am likewise relieved to be found. My friend Maryellen was right. Playing small is not for me. Punching the clock is not for me. Being a placeholder, even a productive one, is not for me. I’m meant for more than treading water. And even though it implies risk and scary new responsibility to break out of fail-safe and comfortable, it feels right to re-assume/resume leadership.

For meditation I also chose a mantra associated with expansion. Themes of living richly and sharing generously. Growth. Opulence. Creating community. Opportunities for charity and suggesting new horizons. It’s hard to employ these things if we aren’t living authentically in who we are and why we are here. It’s always been a big deal to me to do work that serves the world but what is it that I want to serve up to the world? It’s not the status quo. It’s the best of me, which brings me to my third choice for the week.

I reached backed through hallowed antiquity to call up some strong feminine archetypes from the years before the Crusades came along and made it all wicked and evil. I called upon the oracle of the Muse. Ancient mystics believe(d) the Muse inspires and energizes manifestation. I’m done with the wishing phase. I’m ready to manifest. Hers is the way of epiphany. Love me some epiphany; keep talking. She acknowledges and empowers through creative insight, hearing and sensing the soul’s voice. Holey buckets, I’ll take some of that. I’ll take seconds if you can spare it. Empowers through creative insight. Hell.  Yes. 

My mantra and its meaning. My oracle from the spiritual girl squad. My three-pronged effort to self-medicate germs, doubt, stale sass, and the sometimes-suck of starting over again. (I also fed myself a butterscotch brownie with vanilla ice cream because that’s what I would feed an Oracle if she stopped by for some manifesting.) It worked. I’m feeling confirmed. I’ve clicked into better alignment like Legos cast from the same lot. A better fit. Better footing.

I am launched. It feels good to be daring again. Dare to succeed. Dare to screw up. Dare to make magic or mayhem or free to simply receive the next Divine assignment. This too is part of the practice. This too is why we practice.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. mishedup says:

    i love you so much!
    you are so sublimely you…’s exhilarating to be in your sense field (i made that up but….what would a sense field be? I wonder why i said that?)
    anyway….going away really does it for me too….long car rides and odd hotel rooms and places.
    I got a big bump these last few days on my trip…gonna write about it if i can settle down.
    (My sense field honors your sense field)


    1. Sassy says:

      My sense field tingles. Sublimely.


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