During dinner tonight I mentioned to The Chef that I needed a new nom de plume. Since I changed jobs we have time to actually talk to each other during dinner. It’s been an adjustment. Previous to this we barely had time to exchange primitive grunts between gobbles of food. We had to eat so fast and gross in order to participate in any activity that loosely resembled sharing a meal that it was better not to even look at each other. After that last shovelful we’d gulp and then bump a quick messy kiss goodbye. Then I’d clean the kitchen and he’d go to work. We called this dinner six nights a week. Now we get to talk too.
During our talk I brought up the phase-out of my nickname as a screen name. I mentioned this in yesterday’s post. I’m not dropping the nickname. I’m not sure I can. I mean, I can but I’m not sure we get to un-choose nicknames if we didn’t first choose them. But I don’t have to write under that handle if it no longer feels right, so I opened the topic to suggestions. What should replace my nickname? The Chef offered:
I fed back that Alabaster Corinth sounded like a bodice-ripping romance author. He agreed so he substituted: Alabaster Hawkins
Hipster much? Maybe we could think of something a little less White Girl Trying Too Hard?
His solution was an Asian name like the Donna Chang character on Seinfeld. But to make it ours (mine) we’d aim for Korean instead of Chinese.
He chose: Also Flo
Although we do have time to talk over important things like this at dinner we don’t have all the time in the world. Sometimes the stress of a deadline activates our genius. As the minutes clicked away he laid down a real whopper:
Yeah. Wellness is a practice that includes fun. This is so much more fun than grunting at each other while hunched over our plates wolfing down food too quickly to taste it. I thought I’d get some more feedback on the new name though. Vote for your favorite pen name below or offer your own.
Or not. If you don’t vote I’ll chose one without you and you’ll have to wonder what I was thinking. I probably wasn’t thinking. I was probably eating a panini and couldn’t stop laughing because no one could make a better suggestion than Molly Blobless.
Additional note: Yes, I googled all of these names to make sure none of them were really people. As far as I can tell these are all imaginary characters in my husband’s head. For now.