I’m excited. Or as I love to say deliberately wrong, I have excited. It’s an homage to the brilliance of Naomi Watts in the 2014 movie St. Vincent. As much as I am a ruthless grammar Nazi I do recognize that sometimes the deliberate rendering of broken English is poetic, artistic, and genius. Take for instance, the Russian barfly who sat in Moe’s Tavern and complained, “All this yelling is taking away my horny,” on The Simpsons. Naomi’s character in the St. Vincent film (stripper, pregnant, pole dancing with the belly) is also Russian (also a lady of the night) and she gets it so achingly right as she gets it wrong. When she wants to tell Bill Murray that he’s been cut off she says, “And we no more bump the ugly parts.” I swoon still.
But about being excited—one month to go until this project is finished. The last 30 self-portraits (for a while, at least) are imminent. Four more weeks of photographing Me. Four more times I’ll smoosh everything together into a collage. Four more times I’ll build a slideshow. And then it’s done. I’m so ready (I have so much ready)—although it is no longer a matter of being tired of it. I’m definitely over the sick-of-it hump and willing to make the last month a fun one but the excitement is also rooted in wondering what will come next. I’m ready for my practice to manifest in other ways.
One year ago I was blogging about the end of Thirty Days of Forgiveness. 2015 was the last November I declared I would observe Thirty Days of something. Morning Prayers were born of that practice. Every day for the month of November I would get up early and spend time searching out someone or something to forgive before my workday started. After the month was over I stuck with it, allowing it to become devotional time filled with a variety of things but always sacred time set aside.
A year later I still observe Morning Prayers. If the daily act of forgiveness was not enough of a reward for that project, Morning Prayers would have been. A month from now I’ll be done with this and I wonder what will linger on. What will I take away with me to become a permanent part of my daily practice? What will be the lasting change? I could speculate with the easy answers but that’s about as fulfilling as copying my job description into a resume and passing it off as a list of my accomplishments (I have hate for this). It tells you what was expected of me but not necessarily what I actually accomplished.
So I will wait and see. Perhaps it will just be the anagram names. Perhaps more.
— Mary Ring-Prone