Nope Files Are The Nopiest

Here’s another Pinterest find which went straight to the Nope Files:

I think I lurched forward to scream NO at this so vehemently my ass may have caught some air off my office chair. This is another one of those darling little internet cupcakes that seems well-intentioned but simply isn’t true or healthy.

You heard me. This is NOT true. First, there is no prettiest. No such thing. Prettiest does not exist.

Second, there are PLENTY of unhappy girls living, working, and playing among us who are ravishing, drop-dead gorgeous beauties. Odds are you probably know a handful of pretty girls who are sad, unhappy, or downright miserable. Write this down in your journals, ladies, in permanent marker:  Pretty girls can be unhappy, pretty girls are unhappy, and unhappy girls are not motivated toward happiness by the implication that they are less pretty.

Third, the message this image really sends is that if you want to be prettier (or the mythological prettiest), get happier. Since you’ve already got your permanent markers out, write this down too:  You are under no obligation whatsoever to be pretty simply because you were born a girl. Do you hear me? YOU ARE NOT HERE TO BE AN ORNAMENT. You likewise have no obligation whatsoever to be or become any prettier than you were born. You have no duty or responsibility to ANYONE to be the prettiest you can possibly be simply because you were born female.

Girls are not the only ones who are taught this lie. Boys are also taught this about girls. Failing to be as pretty as possible is indeed considered a shortcoming and a failure in our culture, and unless remedied when brought to the attention of girls, also considered unforgivable. This is bullshit. The reason women are valued first for their appearance, and consequently devalued first for their appearance, is that BOTH women and men have accepted this measure of a woman’s value.

When encountering a girl who is deemed not pretty, the first thing women rush to do is pretty her up with hair, makeup, clothes, to make her look prettier and some therapeutic language to make her feel prettier. If that doesn’t work we reassure her she’s pretty/beautiful in her own way because all women are beautiful in their own ways. We reframe beauty so the girl can be included BUT AT NO TIME DO WE EVER TELL HER IS NOT IMPORTANT TO BE PRETTY OR BEAUTIFUL. Why? Because we are lying to each other and to ourselves. We do indeed believe it is preferable to beautiful above all else. Instead of deciding that beauty is a less important measure of our value, we allow stipulations which allow us to keep beauty right where where we really think it belongs at the tippy-top.

The worst and most harmful ritual which betrays our true feelings is the super-popular expansion of the definition of beauty to be more inclusive of everyone but which still leaves beauty elevated in importance and obligation for everyone. “Be your own kind of beautiful” still requires that one strive for some kind of beautiful.  No. NO. You have no responsibility to be any kind of beautiful, ladies. Not to yourself, not to a spouse, not to your peers, not to anyone. Your existence does not automatically obligate you to present yourself to the world prettily or beautifully.

Made with Love? Nope. All the nopes. Made with LIES.  Happy girls don’t wear jeans made of lies.

— Mercy

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