Check this out. I found Her while searching the internet for images to accompany my post about sexy school supplies. I published that post on Sunday.  My goal was to include an image of the infamous paper tablet I unintentionally turned into porn. I never found a photo of a tablet similar to mine but while I was searching I found Her. She’s a pencil sharpener. I swear I googled “vintage school supplies” and not “sexy school supplies” but sometimes this the magic of the internet.

The Etsy dealer holding Her made a sale, which isn’t magic at all. I’ve linked the photo caption to the shop as both a photo credit and free advertising for the privilege of sharing the image.

People, how hot is She? She’s Chinese and born in the ’70s and just under three inches of fully-clothed but vibrant sensuality. Just a little nugget of pencil-sharpening allure, She is. I can’t tell if She’s dancing or just fondling all her lusciousness. Either way, right?

I asked Google to translate mother wound into Chinese. And then the Chinese characters into English letters, of course. Mama Shangle was the result. For pencil sharpener I got Juan Bi Dao. And then I got carried away. I’ll spare you.

Except to say Love Her is Ai Ta.

Ai ta,

Mercy