The Nope Files–We’re Going To Need A Bigger Cabinet Soon

What value does Pinterest hold for normal people? Inspiration? Education? Validation? All it does for me is generate more material for the Nope Files.

I used to have a troll who followed my blog and criticized me for how much time she surmised I spent online based upon how many items I curated from the internet to include in my posts. She assumed I sat around in front of a computer for hours searching the internet for things to write about. She’d challenge me to confess how many hours it took compile enough content for my classic Seven Wonders of the Week posts. Her assumption was destined for the Nope Files, both then and now. I don’t have to search for anything. The internet is all too happy to tell me what it thinks I should read, pin, and share, which is is the whole point of the Nope Files.

The internet shows me more of what it thinks I want to see. Pinterest is the perfect example. I click on an image for no other reason than to see it better and Pinterest thinks I like it whether I pin it or not and then shows me more of the same. I don’t have to go looking for material for the Nope Files. Pinterest brings it to me every time I open the app. It’s like Pinterest is begging me to write about this shit; or perhaps daring me not to.

To wit:

Nope. This is the key to being comfortable. Keeping company only with certain people ensures you never grow. Sometimes your best is revealed by people whose presence calls forth your truth.

Nope. These are often are the same thing. Hearts break just as hard over lies by omission. No one can win under this stipulation.

A thousand Nopes. Love is important. Beautiful is not. Congratulations about your priorities.

Nope. Relationships are not about trust. Relationships are about connection. If you are connected, you have a relationship. Trust is optional. If you play detective you’ve opted not to trust but the relationship between you and the object of your suspicion endures.

Nope infinity. It is impossible not to react to everything you notice. Some reactions are visible, some are not, but noticing something is a reaction to its existence. Choosing to ignore a thing is still a reaction.

Thank goodness now we know what a strong woman looks like:  white, glamorous, and tightly clasped by a well-dressed white man while black men play music to make her smile. Gotcha.

Oh Hell Nope. What an asshole thing to say. Everyone is weak. Everyone is strong. Everyone is capable of love. And if you love her (or him) you’ve already figured out what to do with her.

Nope again. There is no such thing as permanently stupid. And some decisions aren’t going to be made until you get upset so don’t assume they’re all stupid just because you’re upset.

Notice the target demographic provided for you:  thin, white, small-breasted women with more than 5 minutes of free time to lay around topless for aerial photography.

Overruled by a preponderance of Nope. We have no idea which things will matter in five years. Sometimes it takes five years to understand why some things matter at all, much less matter over time. And we have permission to be upset as long as we need to be. Emotions don’t submit to time limits.

I guess this means slender blonde women with a nice view of the city? Asshole.

This one really pisses me the Nope off. Firstly, it’s not true. Some women realize they deserve better and do nothing about it or take years to do something about it. There are many reasons for this. Secondly, a woman on the cusp of this realization does not need to be pressured by the expectation that she achieve some mythological social status such as unstoppable when she may be struggling with the means, the courage, or the safety to start.

Better is hard. Don’t make it harder by asking a woman to morph into some kind of superstar the split-second she begins to understand her worth, especially when the sum of her resources may be vastly overshadowed by her pain, her damage, or her oppression. And dammit, everyone is allowed to stop doing or being anything at any time for any reason and for as long as needed. Even strong women. Even women who are leaders and warriors. Even women who deserve better. Pinterest is not the boss of your brake pedals, ladies.

This feels like a good place to stop (on a pun) for now. I need to go feed my dragon some breakfast after this Monday morning workout.

Wishing you a day of clarity and wellness,

— Mercy


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