Blessed trolls. Imagine the Internet without them. Over the weekend I was trolled for The Nope Files. Said troll wants to know why there are no Yep Files. Or am I just here to make myself sound better than people who are brave enough to put themselves out there?

The first part is a fair question. The second part is bait. It was tempting to say this blog constitutes one big Yep File but that’s a lazy answer although it does make the bait stink. Bloggers by definition are putting themselves out there, bravely or not. As for better, no one wins that argument or that comparison. Everyone is as good as I am. I am as good as everyone.

But why are there no Yep Files? It was difficult to answer without lapsing into justifications for The Nope Files. But this isn’t the question. Trolly Troll didn’t ask why are there Nope Files. Why are there no Yep Files?

There are. Why don’t I blog about them? I have. I do. But not in the same format. No grouping of Yep in a multi-post; just a single here and there. A loner with a ton of my own words to accompany. No clever name. Lots more work and harder work. Not as much fun. That’s probably the simplest answer. It’s not as much fun. Yep Files don’t have the same zinger quality.

It is harder to find pithy quotes which feel useful and true than the opposite. I usually write my own but not nearly as often. Quality time with quality material is less gratuitous. The low road is littered with easy content for quick and dirty blogging. I can get myself an easy piece, get in, get it on, and get out.

And let’s not kid ourselves (me). I’m better at contradiction than agreement. I like editing. Correction is my erection. Contrast comes easier to me than compliment. Debate is my junk food. Perhaps I am a troll too. Instead of trolling via public comments or direct messages, I blog it over here in my own rented space. Like a bitch. Point taken, Internet. Thank you, Trolly Troll.

I will ante up. If I had comparable Yep Files (apples to apples) this is what I would put in them:

And as an acknowledgement of my freshly illuminated truth, I offer this to all the makers, creators, and perpetuators of all the stuff in my Nope Files.

 

— Mercy