I am here. I neglected this space out of the necessity last week. My big speaking engagement went down in history over the weekend. I needed every available moment to practice my speech, diction, delivery; and right up to the last day I kept adding insights or edits.

I practiced until I nearly lost my voice. I rehearsed in front of a mirror. I rehearsed in front of the cat. I rehearsed in front of the dog. In the car. In the bathtub. When I was supposed to be sleeping. So of course I didn’t write anything else.

I was so nervous I gave myself race poops. Y’all remember race poops? I used to run competitively. When I first started blogging I felt like I had to write about it every time I ran a race. My body’s standard response to pre-race jitters was (is) Evacuate the bowels! Everybody out! Go! Go! Go! Every race morning without fail I lost about six pounds before I ever ran a step. Among my running friends we joked about it at length and nicknamed the experience race poops. I guess after the pre-speech onset I will have to rename them performance poops.

But it was so worth it. I was so elated after I left the stage I could not stop replaying the experience in my mind for the next 12 hours. I laid awake that night reliving it over and over because it was so fulfilling. It was transformative. And because I nailed it. So of course I didn’t write anything else.

They laughed at my jokes. I mean really laughed, and not those polite titters but gut-busters. They lifted their eyebrows at the profound points. They got me. They understood me. I witnessed inspiration. I witnessed appreciation. Somehow I managed to get it all out within the time limit too.

When it was over they jumped up and whooped and hollered as they clapped. In a good way, not as in She’s a Witch! Burn her! They hugged me and thanked me and asked me to do it again. But most of all it just felt good. Great. Joyous. Divine. So of course I haven’t been able to write anything else.

And these past few days the business world is desperately cramming in as much work as possible before the Thanksgiving break so of course I haven’t been able to write anything else. Until now.

So what was the big deal? I took the pulpit in a predominantly Christian church to speak on the topic of alternative spirituality. The congregation did not know in advance this would be the topic of my sermon. Hence my nervousness. It went over well. It appears I offended no one. I got nothing but positive feedback. I was invited back.

Can I overstate my euphoria? Well of course I can but I shan’t. I’ll just overstate that this is why I haven’t written anything else. But I will.

— Mercy