Winning The Soggy Sock Slog

Found while out on a run:

Nature’s confetti. From the party she throws this time of year. Because for the green things whose job it is to grow and produce and thrive, the pressure is off now. For a while. All these trees have to do for the next several months is stand here. Shrubs and grass and flowers too; it’s vacation season. Months of vacation, not weeks. One last blowout to celebrate, and then all we have to be is brown.

There are exceptions, of course. Just like some people never go on vacation, there are those evergreens who refuse to participate. They put on their red lipstick and shine on. This is not one of those; just a shrub late to the party. Make that fashionably late.

I found this pink convertible parked outside an empty house marked for foreclosure. You’ll notice it is not parked in the driveway. The driver must have hopped the curb and bailed. Or drove it across the lawn, forgot to put it in park, and rolled backward toward the street, somehow stopping oh-so-close to the edge. At first I thought this was a Barbie car but the steering wheel is too big. It’s also a one-seater and Barbie is known for ridesharing. Upon second glance the decal on the door certainly does look like Barbie, so I when I got home I googled Barbie’s fleet like a completely reasonable adult.

I was right. This does not appear to be a Barbie car. Barbie owns vehicles similar to this but none of them have her image emblazoned upon the doors. And as I first mentioned, the steering wheel is not correctly proportioned for a Barbie doll. This must be a bigger doll, and one arguably more vain. Or this is her business vehicle and the decal is simply advertising; I really shouldn’t judge. A realtor wouldn’t park on the lawn though, would she? I mean, curb appeal is a big deal when it comes to flipping foreclosures, isn’t it?

Either way I have thus far been unable to identify the owner. I don’t know the correct nomenclature for successfully googling pink convertible doll car with blonde girl decal. Googling exactly those words did not yield the desired result. I also tried larger doll blonde realtor who drives pink convertible, which was also a bust, as was pink convertible for blonde doll NOT Barbie, so for now I’m stumped. But no matter, in another mile I would win the day.

At the end of the run, I found a grand prize. First place. Soggy, storm-beaten, crumpled and tinged with road grime, but nonetheless. Winner. Champion. Best overall. Victor. Conqueror. I’d like to congratulate everyone who participated. I’d like to thank everyone who supported me. To my fellow competitors, you inspire me every day. I’d especially like to thank my fans; you are the best in the world. This is a dream come true for me. I’m honored and grateful to have been a part of this. To all the kids out there watching, never give up on your dream.

If you want it, claim it. On a blustery Saturday in November when it’s so cold the tennis balls won’t bounce. When the puddles are ankle-deep and everything is slick with mud. Get your ass off the couch, put on some gloves, and go get it. Sometimes it is literally lying on the ground waiting for you to pick it up. You’ll never win if you don’t show up. Hell, sometimes all you have to do is show up to win. The first race I ever won (age group) was a day so hot no one faster than me bothered to come. I won today because it was so windy and wet no one else bothered to leave the house. Someone’s got to win. It might as well be me.

Or you.

— Mercy

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